I am not trying to be an alcoholic.

reasons that I am choosing to abstain from alcohol from this point on: 1) Alcohol makes you age faster (especially the sugar-filled drinks and beer that I tend to enjoy), and I have always wanted to be a hot middle-aged lady. 2) Hangovers are not fun. 3) I bet cirrhosis of the liver isn't either. 4) I am just as pleasant  when I am sober, and people who disagree with that do not know me very well at all. 5) Drinking is expensive. 6) Who needs a weakened immune system with the swine flu on the loose? 7) Most importantly, alcoholism runs in my family, and I...

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