Turby and John

reasons that I am choosing to abstain from alcohol from this point on:

1) Alcohol makes you age faster (especially the sugar-filled drinks and beer that I tend to enjoy), and I have always wanted to be a hot middle-aged lady.

2) Hangovers are not fun.

3) I bet cirrhosis of the liver isn’t either.

4) I am just as pleasant  when I am sober, and people who disagree with that do not know me very well at all.

5) Drinking is expensive.

6) Who needs a weakened immune system with the swine flu on the loose?

7) Most importantly, alcoholism runs in my family, and I am not trying to be an alcoholic.

Menus are for reading. They are not for decoration or a large coaster for your sweet tea.

photo credit: skinnydiver

I was bothered when asked to describe the cheese sticks at my place of employment. I felt that the name should’ve been pretty self explanatory. What was even more explanatory was THE DESCRIPTION ON THE MENU. I described them as crusty tubes filled with cheese, which is exactly what they are. The customers promptly left the restaurant.

I will consistently fail to understand why and how people get such an exaggerated idea of their importance in the world. Aside from your(this being the proverbial your, of course) family and very close friends, and that’s if you’re lucky, the general public does not give a single shit about you. I had this realization very early in life, and clearly I should count myself lucky. Not many people were as fortunate as I, and it’s a little disturbing, to say the least.  My day to day life is almost entirely composed of interactions with people who have fooled themselves into thinking that the many meaningless things that they think and say are important. How did things go so far south for these people?  I have wonderful, loving parents who constantly told me I was beautiful and capable, and I didn’t end up a selfish asshole on a mission to be the center of everyone’s attention. I guess not being delusional goes a long way.

I don’t find my insignificant role in life and in the lives of others to be dreary or depressing; it’s just a fact.