I am not trying to be an alcoholic.

reasons that I am choosing to abstain from alcohol from this point on:

1) Alcohol makes you age faster (especially the sugar-filled drinks and beer that I tend to enjoy), and I have always wanted to be a hot middle-aged lady.

2) Hangovers are not fun.

3) I bet cirrhosis of the liver isn’t either.

4) I am just as pleasant  when I am sober, and people who disagree with that do not know me very well at all.

5) Drinking is expensive.

6) Who needs a weakened immune system with the swine flu on the loose?

7) Most importantly, alcoholism runs in my family, and I am not trying to be an alcoholic.

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