It’s list time, y’all: 60 Best Movies Ever

I am not a movie critic. The number of movies that I have seen might not even impress the frequent (and possibly occasional) watcher of movies. Still, I have good (bordering on great) taste. These may appear to  be empty words, but I have proof in the form of lists. Each list is composed of ten of my favorite movies in that category, except for the last list, which is simply the next ten movies in my netflix queue (because you care).

Comedies and/or Chucklefests:

1. Superbad- Never will I ever get tired of watching this movie. After seeing it several times, I might know what it feels like to be a boy in high school.

2. The 40 Year Old Virgin- Steve Carell is ridiculously talented. Turby and I fall asleep to this movie just about every other night.

3.  Forgetting Sarah Marshall-  All the actors/actresses in this movie were perfectly cast, and it doesn’t hurt that I have a big ol’ crush on Jason Segel.

4. Pineapple Express- I don’t even smoke pot, and I still laugh continously while watching this movie.

5. Wedding Crashers- This movie probably would not be on the list if it weren’t for Isla Fisher. I am a big fan of a girl who can effectively portray crazy and still appear attractive.

6. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang- While this movie does not make me laugh as much as the others surrounding it, it is way too clever to disregard. Plus, Val Kilmer has never been funnier.

7. Stepbrothers- This movie restored my faith in Will Ferrell after the trainwreck that was Blades of Glory.

8. The Hangover- I am so bothered by the entire plot of this movie, but that doesn’t stop me from watching it and laughing until my stomach hurts.

9. Anchorman- This movie marked a milestone in my life. It is while watching this movie that I discovered my adoration for Steve Carrel.

10. Tommy Boy- Chris Farley was one funny fat guy. God rest his soul.

Movies Made for Kids but Enjoyed by Adults:

1. Matilda -  I wish I had special powers (and Miss Honey for a teacher: what a fox!)

2. Mrs. Doubtfire- Robin Williams’ best role, if you ask me

3. All Dogs Go to Heaven – This is probably the very reason that I am a dog person.

4. Casper-  Devon Sawa was the star in every single one of my eight-year-old fantasies. Well, at least the ones that didn’t inclue Johnathan Taylor Thomas (JTT, y’all).

5. Fern Gully- I am a sucker for movies that manage to still be interesting while subtly(or plainly) telling you to treat your old pal the forest with respect.

6. WALL-E – I cried like a little bitch.

7. James in the Giant Peach- Ever wonder why it’s not called James and the Giant Pear? Peaches are the most badass fruit of all.

8. The Aristocats- Cats aren’t so bad after all.

9. Up- The sweet and loyal dog made this movie for me. What a tearjerker, too!

10. Happily Ever After- This is basically Snow White II. Too bad it makes Snow White the original look boring and weak in comparison.

Movies to Watch in the spirit of Halloween or Christmas:

1. Hocus Pocus- If you don’t like this movie, then I don’t like you. The end.

2. Home Alone I- Joe Pesci is a riot, and this movie puts me in such a Christmas mood.

3. Home Alone II- See above (but do not fret. There will be no Home Alone III on this list. I have standards.)

4. The Nightmare before Christmas- You can watch this movie in both October and December. How neat!

5. Elf- This movie is adorable, and Zooey Deschanel has a lovely voice. Some people may oppose that statement, but this is my list (sucks for you).

6. The Halloween Tree- This is an animated film based on Ray Bradbury’s novel. It’s spooky and fun for the whole family. And let’s be honest, everyone knows some creepy old dude who kinda looks like Mr. Moundshroud.

7. 8 Crazy Nights- I’m no Jew, but I know a good Hannukah film when I see one.

8. Miracle on 34th Street (the 1994 one)- Here comes Mara Wilson two years before Matilda. The basic lesson that I learned from watching this movie is that cute kids can make a cheesy movie seem much more worthwhile.

9. The Santa Clause- Who doesn’t enjoy watching Tim Allen get fat overnight and grow a magical beard?

10. Ernest Scared Stupid- It may seem like I was struggling for a number ten, and maybe I was. I am still super into this movie.

Guy Movies (that girls can get into):

1. Boondock Saints- Three cheers for vigilante justice!

2. The Big Lebowski- I was having trouble when deciding whether to put this on the funny movie list or the guy movie list, then I remembered that Tara Reid is in this movie. There is nothing funny about Tara Reid.

3. The Departed- Leonardo DiCaprio may be less attractive than he was when he stole my heart in Romeo + Juliet, but he is still attractive enough to keep me from writing off a movie in which almost every single character I like is dead by the end of it.

4. Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels- Our dog Winston got his name from this movie. Also, this has my favorite ending of any movie on this particular list.

5. Fight Club- I won’t pretend to have read the book, but I feel like the movie is probably better.

6. Pulp Fiction- The only thing standing in the way of this movie moving up in the list a few spots is John Travolta’s (or Vincent Vega’s) creepy hair.

7. There Will Be Blood- I have never been so creeped out and fascinated simultaneously as I was while watching this movie.

8. In Bruges- Sup, MadEye Moody? Why do you always have to die? You are such a good actor.

9. From Dusk Till Dawn- This movie in no way glamorizes vampires, and I appreciate that (in a much different way than I appreciate Alexander Skarsgard’s character on True Blood).

10. Shaun of the Dead- I am of the opinion that the best zombie movies are the funny ones.

College Freshman Movies (or “really original” movies that you watched and were immediately really passionate about and were certain that you were the first one to see):

1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind-  If nothing else, this movie proves two things: Kate Winslet looks slammin’ with almost any hair color, and falling asleep during this movie may leave you confused when you wake up fifteen minutes later.

2. Garden State- What else has Zach Braff even done with his career? Oh yeah, Scrubs (psh.)

3. Donnie Darko- This movie is spooky. I’d understand if someone developed a fear of rabbits after watching it.

4. Requiem for a Dream- After watching this movie, I decided to never do drugs. Ever.

5. Wristcutters: A Love Story- This movie is precious, and Tom Waits even makes an appearance (for all you pretentious A-holes.)

6. Juno- Some people don’t like this movie. Clearly, I do. It makes fun of teen pregnancy. How risque!

7. Love Actually-  I haven’t seen this in a while. I think I’ll watch it again soon.

8. Office Space- I never want to work in an office because of this movie. It’s always nice to have goals.

9. This is Spinal Tap- This is funny movie.

10. Waiting- Maybe I just like this movie because I wait tables for a living. I’ve been told that Ryan Reynolds is a tool.

Awful Movies That I Like Anyway:

1. Lonestar State of Mind- Ryan Hurst is funny business.

2. Cool World- I love love loved this movie when I was roughly 9.

3. The Rules of Attraction-  depressing + Shannyn Sossamon + poor dialogue= my kinda movie!

4. Brown Sugar- If you haven’t seen this move, then watch it. I will give you two dollars if you don’t like it.

5. The Skulls- Joshua Jackson is the only reason that I like this movie. I won’t even pretend otherwise.

6. Lost and Delirious-  I bet boarding schools aren’t like this at all.

7. Kill Your Darlings- I have no good reason for liking this movie. Oh, wait: Alexander Skarsgard.

8. Bubble Boy- Sometimes I doubt Jake Gyllenhaal’s acting skills. This movie is an exception.

9. The Foot Fist Way- There are three brief funny parts in this movie, and they make the whole thing worth watching.

10. Bride of  Chucky- I never saw Seed of Chucky, but I bet I’d like that too.

Next Ten Movies on my Netflix Queue (Guess which ones Turby picked.):

1. Trainspotting

2. The Godfather

3. The Godfather: Part II

4. The Godfather: Part III

5. Hedwig and the Angry Inch

6. The OH in Ohio

7. Goodfellas

8. Murder by Death

9. Broken Flowers

10. Dead Man

Clearly, I cannot comment on the ten movies above. I have yet to see them.

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